Tri en France: Stairmaster wanted

Today was race day and I was, as usual, nervous as hell.
At first I proceeded into the building for bib pick-up. Found myself on the list and standing out next to my name it said (USA). Great. Whatever.
Then I was incredibly amused by French etiquette. The men's toilets were porto-potties. The women's toilets were in the building, one-person bathrooms. BAHAHAHA That's right. Sucks to be a guy.

Then I panicked about two things the French don't really have under control: bib pins and a place to drop your stuff. First, I mustered up my courage to ask 3 people about bib pins in French. Then a women saw me standing around looking... alone, so she decided to interview me, in French, about why I was doing the race and how often I run. After that, I reluctantly hid my new rainproof/windbreaker/running jacket next to the stairs in the building and hoped no one would steal it. There simply was no way I was going to race with it, but I also didn't want to leave my electronics sitting behind in it (both good decisions).

The race started an I was 95% sure I REALLY had to pee, but I sucked it up. The first 2 miles were pretty uncomfortable due to that. It started like a normal race. The roads were kind of congested and a little too small for people. We twice ran into paths that they blocked off that we simply too small for us to run through, so we had to walk. It was a two-loop course, and I wasn't looking forward to experiencing that four times.

Around the 4k point, the course turned into a park, which included a run up-hill through muddy grass and navigating some paths over rocks/tree-roots that required a little hiking skill. My quads did not thank the people who planned the course for throwing this my way just after I'd walked in a huge pack of smelly French people. Speaking of smelly French people, if you think French guys smell bad already, you should not run races with them - learned that the hard way. BLEH. Anyway, I hated the leg through the park and thought, "well, how much worse can it get?" I thought too soon.

A lot of the course was already proving to be mostly uphill and I was excited to find that that was ACTUALLY to my advantage. I was passing people uphill! Then came the first set of stairs. Then the second. Then more uphill. Then the third, which led you immediately to the fourth - the pièce de resistance with spectators lining the other side and then FINALLY about 100m after - the 5th. I prayed I would not encounter these on the second loop, but I did. 10 sets of ascending stairs and 4 sets of descending stairs (which allow them to add the additional 6 sets of ascending stairs). Between that, the park, and the tiny trails that were too small to fit the group, I knew a PR wasn't happening today.

These are the epic stairs - on my second lap

My second lap was just about conquering it. Finishing the race strong....enough. It was rough and I knew I just needed to have fun and treat it like a hard workout and not worry about pace. So I took some pictures of the stairs - to commemorate the experience.

Then I asked someone to take this gross photo.

What I'm really thinking: Thank God it's over!

That was definitely one of the hardest races, workouts, PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES I've ever done! Now back to tri.